The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event held the evening before the wedding, immediately following the ceremony rehearsal. It serves as a welcome gathering for the wedding party, immediate family, and often out-of-town guests.
16 steps across 2 sections
1. Steps Guide
- Determine the host (6+ months before) — Traditionally, the groom's parents host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. However, modern practice varies: either set of parents, the couple themselves, or a...
- Set the budget (5-6 months before) — Rehearsal dinner costs typically range from $20-$100+ per person depending on the formality. A 40-person dinner at a restaurant might cost $2,000-$6,000. Budget...
- Choose the venue (4-6 months before) — Options include restaurants (most popular, least logistics), private dining rooms, the rehearsal venue itself, a family home, a brewery or winery, a park or g...
- Create the guest list (4-5 months before) — Must-invite: the couple, wedding party and their plus-ones, both sets of parents, grandparents, siblings, officiant and their spouse, readers/participant...
- Send invitations (4-6 weeks before) — Send rehearsal dinner invitations separately from wedding invitations. A separate card, email, or evite is appropriate. Include date, time, location, dress cod...
- Plan the menu (3-4 weeks before) — Coordinate with the venue or caterer on menu selection. Consider dietary restrictions (vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, allergies) and communicate these in advance...
- Plan toasts and activities (2-3 weeks before) — Coordinate who will give toasts (typically parents, best man, maid of honor, and the couple). Plan any gift-giving to the wedding party. Consider a s...
- Coordinate logistics (1-2 weeks before) — Confirm headcount, menu, seating arrangement, and any AV needs with the venue. Plan the rehearsal-to-dinner transition (transportation if venues are differ...
- Run the rehearsal (day of) — The ceremony rehearsal itself typically takes 30-60 minutes. The wedding planner or officiant runs through the processional order, ceremony flow, and recessional. Then ...
- End the evening on time — Wrap up by 10 PM at the latest. The couple and wedding party need rest before the wedding day. Make any final announcements about wedding-day logistics (arrival times, tra...
2. Key Details
- Who pays Traditionally the groom's family. Increasingly, costs are shared between families or the couple pays. There is no wrong answer as long as expectations are communicated clearly and early.
- Guest count Typical rehearsal dinners have 20-50 guests. Larger rehearsal dinners (inviting all out-of-town guests) can reach 60-100+, which significantly increases cost but is a generous gesture for traveling...
- Timing Held the evening before the wedding, starting 1-2 hours after the rehearsal ends. If the rehearsal is at 5 PM and takes 45 minutes, dinner might begin at 7 PM.
- Dress code Typically one level more casual than the wedding. A semi-formal wedding might have a smart casual rehearsal dinner. Include dress code guidance on the invitation.
- Toasts The rehearsal dinner is the traditional venue for longer, more personal toasts (particularly from parents). This takes pressure off the wedding reception and allows for more intimate storytelling.
- Wedding party gifts Many couples use the rehearsal dinner as the occasion to present thank-you gifts to their bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, and other members of the wedding party.
Common Mistakes
- Not defining who hosts and pays
- Inviting some out-of-town guests but not all
- Making it too elaborate
- Running too late
- Including the rehearsal dinner invitation with the wedding invitation
Pro Tips
- Choose a venue that reflects your personality
- Use the dinner for logistical announcements
- Prepare a brief welcome for out-of-town guests
- Delegate toast coordination
- Keep seating intentional